Trials of Heather

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I went to my Dr. appt last Monday and they think everything is perfect. I got an ultrasound on the Wednesday last week I saw the baby. I had my husband go to the ultrasound appt because i was pretty scared that all of a sudden it would be gone or something. It had a heartbeat of 122. It was so small you could hardly make anything out. I am 7 weeks and 2 days. I am due on September 11, which my husband pointed out to me is "freaky"... but usually they aren't born on that exact date anyways.

We decided that we are going to tell everyone in our family about our baby. My husband's parents were pretty excited and my mom says she sensed it. I have been trying to tell my Dad about it by webcam but unfortunately he hasn't been on much. And i have been to sick to tell him. Somehow we can't meet up right. I wanted to see the look on his face when i told him and since he lives so far way i was trying to use our webcam with the use of something called Skype to tell him. I just hope that this time everything goes as planned.

I have a party for a triathlon club i am in to go to today shortly, which i don't know if i should go to or not, seeing as how i am not feeling very good today. I suppose i should get going. I will try to read every one's blog soon as lately i have been pretty sick, but i need to at least try.


Saturday, January 13, 2007

Thank you for everyone's support. It means the world to me. :)

About a week until my appt with the Dr....and as I still have the pregnancy systems... Morning (or should i say lunch) sickness sucks.. I have puked yet, but smells are really getting to me. I feel like i can smell things a lot more than i used to. Smells of food at lunch time at work make me not feel so good. I have to look at this a good thing though, because it means i am still pregnant. My breasts are extremely tender. I am very emotional, I was crying when i was watching Grey's Anatomy on Thursday and had a hard time stopping even after the commerical break was done. I am tired beyond belief, i feel like i could sleep the whole day away if i wanted to. I think my asthma is worse to, which worries me a little...i guess i will have to make an appt with my allergist too, to get that all checked out.

I am still scared that i am going to lose this baby...but i have to start looking at it this way: I didn't make it past 5 weeks last time. I am 6 weeks pregnant! I need to start enjoying this. But that is easier said than done. If my husband has his way this will be our only baby. I would like more, but will be happy with one for now. I pray EVERY NIGHT that everything will go alright and that i wouldn't lose this one. I went into the babies room today, and sat on the floor and thought about how i wanted to decorate it! I also thought how awesome it is going to be having an actual baby in that room. I want this so badly i hope i make it full term.

I was talking to my dad online today and i really wanted to spill the beans to him... but didn't. My dad knows about the m/c and i think he took that i will tell him after my appt on the 22 and after i know the test come back ok.


Monday, January 08, 2007

I still feel pregnant so I guess that is a good sign... and have the typical signs of pregnancy... But this time around i am not as excited about it... I am scared that this will be m/c #2 ... I keep telling myself to be positive, but it is hard...

I made my 1st appt with my Dr. on January 22nd to see the Dr.'s nurse....apparently this is the 1st step... This is the step i didn't make it past last time and when they noticed things were going wrong last time... i pleaded with them to get an earlier time but they are too booked... I am scared that i wouldn't make it past this point... last time i barely made it past a week past when my period was.

February 5 is coming in a month, and that was my last due date for the baby that i lost and i don't know how I feel about that... nervous I guess... I hope this year is the perfect year, and I have this baby in September! I have started praying, something i used to never do... I pray every night that my baby is OK, and that there is nothing wrong with it, and that i wouldn't lose it. That sounds sad, but it guess me something to do and i don't feel as scared when i talk to God. But it usually ends in me crying... hormones maybe, i don't know. I hope I can experience the joys of motherhood, something that i have wanted since i can remember.

I am off to grab a nap...I'm so tired.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Hopefully everyone can read what this says.. :) It is great news for us finally... now I feel scared since i lost the last baby... I don't know if i should be excited or not... I have to make my 1st Dr. appt. Unfortunately I will have to wait until Monday to call since i finally took the test last night. We are not going to tell anyone until February since we lost the last baby so early.