Trials of Heather

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Thanks everyone for your comments. It is going to be hard for a little bit. I tried going back to work today. Apparently a lot of people found out that we lost our baby. So many people were coming up to me wanting to know what happened. It was bad. I finally decided that i couldn't deal with it anymore and started telling people that it was too hard to talk about right now. And said thanks for the support. I am going to take tomorrow and Friday off. I can't go to work and deal with this anymore. Work is already stressful without me sitting there wondering when someone is going to ask me about the miscarriage. I know they are worried about me, but i can't do it. I start crying when they mention it.

My husband and I have decided that we want to try one more time to have baby. But i think my dr. appt next Friday will decide somethings. I have to ask more questions about that cyst on my ovary. I hope that if we get that taken care of that it will end our problems. Maybe i am hoping for a miracle, but it would be nice to have something good happen for a chance to us.

I will say this: This miscarriage has brought my husband and I closer to each other. And I love him more than i did before. I am falling in love with him all over again. That sounds so weird to me, but it is true. He is so supportive and loving. When i am/was balling my eyes out he is gives me the biggest hugs and tells me it will be ok. I am lucky to have such a great husband. I know he is in pain too with this, but he always is so supportive with me.

This Sunday we are supposed to go over to my in laws and I don't think I want to go. They are throwing him a belated Birthday dinner for him. They are nice people and all, i just hope that they will leave our m/c alone. I know they are sad too, but i can't talk about it. I only feel comfortable talking to my husband, my mom and my blogger friends. It is too hard to talk to his parents. I really don't want to start crying in front of them. I find it easier typing it out then actually saying it anyways.

I went up to the nursery and started balling last night. I know i probably shouldn't have gone up there, but I keep thinking about how perfect it would have been. We already had it all painted and the crib assembled. It was hard to see an empty crib that wouldn't be full anytime soon. I think that is when we decided that we wanted to try one more time. It would be a shame to leave that room empty. For now I closed the door to that room and will stay out of there for now. I pray that someday we will have a beautiful baby in that crib.

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8 Comments:

At 6:12 PM, Blogger Shana said...

Dear Heather,

My heart breaks for you. I know exactly how you are feeling... I recently had my 3rd miscarriage. :(

I'm so glad you have such a sweet, loving husband to help you through this.

Sending you hugs,
Shana (Sophie Lu's mommy)

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger SaraS-P said...

It is comforting to have a supportive partner when this happens.

I hope people don't bombard you with incomfortable questions. That can make it all so much worse.

I am thinking about you...

 
At 12:42 AM, Anonymous __karen__ said...

by reading your blog, i now know how my mom felt. She had 2 m/c, then had my sister, then had 2 more before she had me. Keep on praying, because prayers are answered one way or another!:)

Take Care!

 
At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Angella said...

Ug!

I'm praying for you! I've only had the one miscarriage, but I know people who have had more. One friend had a baby, THEN THREE m/c and then another baby. So hard, so hard.

HUGS!

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger canape said...

I am so sorry for your losses. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling right now.

Take as much time as you need though. Stay home, skip dinners, whatever. People should understand.

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Becky said...

I'm so sorry to read about your miscarriage...I just stubbled upon your blog and started reading it. I'm actually afraid I won't be able to have kids someday because I've always had such horrible periods that lasted for months at a time. Did you have any symtoms that your doctor said could be the cause of this? Thanks for sharing your story...God bless....

 
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