Trials of Heather

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Thank you for all the kind words from everyone. Thank you Nikole for posting about it on your blog. It helped during my recovery time being able to read everyone's comments... It helped to know there are people who care out there.

My mind right now is all muddy... I am back at work today after my "procedure" and someone comes up to me and says "where is that report that you run on Monday and where were you...It seems like you are a part time employee now." Thanks I needed that support from him... I haven't told too many people at my work, other than my boss, who has been pretty supportive.

Last Friday when I went in for the D&C I was really freaked out...And when I went back with the nurses to get ready for the D&C they asked me why I was having one...Then a couple minutes later another nurse asked why, and then another...So by then I had tears streaming down my face... I was doing ok with the 1st nurse, but it just continued over and over... And then after the D&C I woke up freaked out and didn't know where I was, so more tears... I don't remember a whole lot, my hubby tells me that I would cry for a couple minutes, and then fall asleep for 5 minutes, and then repeated the cycle for almost an hour. All I remember was begging for my husband. Finally he was allowed back back by me and I felt very calm. I went home with MAJOR cramps and slept the rest of the day. Then my hubby woke me up and asked if there was anything I wanted from the store...And he went and got everything I asked for... And he was the best help through out the day, doing whatever I asked him...Even though I felt a little bad that I had to ask him.

The next day, Saturday, I woke up with cramps still and my hubby laid with me for a couple hours until I feel asleep again, and then proceeded to wash my car for me...He always washes my car for me when I am upset about something...I don't know if this is his way of dealing with things or what.

On Sunday and Monday it was much of the same, except my hubby wasn't really helping me too much anymore...Monday he gave me crap because he decided that I shouldn't be home, I should be at work, and was mad I was watching TV when he called...And was giving me crap about sleeping in until 9:00am. ... What else is there to do when you don't feel good? The dog stayed snuggled up to me the entire day and we watched TV followed by getting up to get something to drink/eat...And to let the dog out every couple hours.


At 3:14 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

This is my first time visiting your blog, and I am so sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry about your D&C experience. Why in the world would those nurses keep asking you why you were there?!?! I'll be thinking about you as you move forward with your "healing."

At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Angella said...

When we went for our D&C, the DR asked if we were sure there was no heartbeat. Um, that's why we were there....

I hope that your days only get better!


At 11:26 AM, Blogger moi said...

nurses are so rarely considerate, in my experience. I had a D&C a few years ago to remove some growth polyps, and the nurses kept asking in loud voices if i was there for an abortion. I was mortified, humiliated by the way they treated me until they found out it wasn't an abortion, just a routine procedure.

I hope this week is better for you! :)

At 6:29 PM, Blogger Alli said...

{{hugs}} I am so sorry.

At 7:59 PM, Blogger SaraS-P said...

They seriously need to require sensitivity training in nursing school.

And going back to work is such a strain when most people have no idea you're in the middle of a traumatic experience. I am really sorry you are having these tough times.

Sleep in as late as you want. The procedure is no minor experience. Neither is losing a dream. Take time to heal emotionally and physically, and don't let anyone think less of you for any second of it.

Your mention of snuggling with your dog made me think of how I renamed my cat, "my heating pad." She would sit on my abdomen and purr, and I swear it eased the pain.

I know this such a big heartbreak, but I am thinking of you and I hope you feel better (a little at a time)...


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